Yum.

I was in the Portrait Gallery earlier today and I don't remember who it was, but this guy who revolutionized farming or whatever said that he thought of sheep as 'a machine that turns grass into mutton'. Haha. I love that.

I've had enough of artificial people who pretend to care about things for a hook, for an angle, to feel superior, and I don't have room in my life to act like I care. My generation is raping the world? So be it. 

Screen pattern lock.

I used to have one of those swishy pattern lock things on my new Android, and the first time I used it in front of Rachel she shrieked 'So cool!', but unlocking it at regular intervals too many times proved too boring (although I did the easiest and most condensed-area pattern I could think of) so I took it off. I also have single-digit passwords when allowed. I can't handle too much technology.

August

It's almost October, but August. Wow, August. Augusts are an okay month, a month preceding my four favourite months of the year, namely September, October, November and December. I always expect the end of the year to be better than the beginning, starting with a neutral August. This August has been the most insane, traumatic, stomach-churning one I could ever have, so much so that I have an entire novelette in the making based on it. I don't know whether to thank you or hate you, August of 2011. But I guess you were a part of my life and I have to accept you.

I'm not a player, I'm not even in the game.

I recently found out this guy my friend has been dating, Jabeer, thinks that I'm a player and that I'm a bad influence on her, and well, it irks the hell out of me. First of all, I met this person once for like five minutes, and the only direct things I remember saying to him was hi and asked him what version his iPhone was and whether he had games on it, to which he said no and kept typing on his phone while my friend defended him and said he was working. Then I complained to my friend about how my ex is being a stupid fucker and ignoring me at the event we were at - I mean we still lived in the same house at the time and said we were going to be friends and he couldn't even have the decency to say hi to me when we came in (but said a very friendly hi to my friend standing half a foot away from me). I think that is being quite a stupid fucker indeed, but it's all water under the bridge now, and she said me saying 'fucker' is part of why Jabeer thinks what he thinks about me.

Wow! I could start expounding on the many ways that he really is a fucker, but this isn't about me or him, it's about Jabeer. 

1. Jabeer openly admits to my friend that he used to be a player (I don't know if he's playing the 'but I'm changing for you' card, but it seems like a possibility) and he seems to think that admitting it/having being it seems to make him some sort of good judge of character on who is and isn't a player. No Jabeer, it doesn't make you more or less ignorant. Being a player is being a player is being a jerk.

2. I can count and name and date (to the month) every person I've ever kissed. Can you do that, Jabeer? Not even my friends no one would think to call a player can do that ('that' being counting and naming, dating is a bit excessive I know).

3. I have only ever had two boyfriends, but the error in judgement on the second one is a mistake on my part, probably from having not had a boyfriend for three years got to my head a bit. That's as much as I've messed up, but doesn't make me a player either.

4. I take everyone I date very seriously, and I never lead anyone I'm not interested in on.

Unfortunately Jabeer seems to be small-minded and is of a religion that encourages small-mindedness, so I don't really know why my friend is still seeing him. She goes on and on herself about how it would never work, and when I encourage her to do X thing that would find out once and for all whether it would work or not, she won't do it and keeps saying "it's not going to work out", and when I ask her to break it off she won't, and his player moves has even forced her into doing some sort of two-month trial thing the last time she wanted to stop seeing him.

On a last note, she doesn't want to have sex and he does, and when she refuses he says things like "it means you don't care about me much." W.T.F., JABEER? I THOUGHT WE LEFT HIGH SCHOOL A WHILE AGO.

Oh and she also said Jabeer thought I was flirty. -__- I would rather flirt with a can of soup.


Update: She told him she was out with me, and he said 'going clubbing?'. This was at 8 pm, and I've only gone clubbing with her ONCE, on NEW YEAR'S EVE. Can this douche be any less judgemental? 

Asshole At The Mall

I was walking through the mall earlier today, and I think most people would agree that although there isn't a correct way to walk through the mall, the majority of people would walk parallel to the row of storefronts, like people walk down a riverbank, which is what I was doing. All of a sudden, this guy veers in from the right and cuts closely in front of me and walks right past, so abruptly that our feet collide mildly, but not hard enough for either one of us to trip. I am annoyed that he walked in such a douchey way and am staring at the back of his head, appalled, when he gets to a decent distance and turns around and goes

'At least say sorry!' angrily.

'You cut right in front of me.' I say, and wave my arm past my body in the manner that he cut me off in.

'Fuck you!' he starts saying.

'Fuck you!' I say back, matching each time he says it - for lack of a better insult because I don't want to start being racist - and give him the finger. I can't be bothered anymore and turn away.

'What did you say? What did you say? What did you say?' he keeps saying, and crosses back over and starts following my friend and I. 

'You cut right in front of me, now stop harassing me.' I say, still walking.

'What did you say? What did you say? What did you say?' he says, jiggling his shoulders like he's so bad ass.

'Stop harassing me.' I say repeatedly until he goes away.

I know that it was bad of me to provoke him further, but he started it, and I refuse to let some misogynistic, low-class piece of trash throw a tantrum at me think it's okay. After what I've gone through so recently, some loser in a mall getting mad for something so pedantic isn't all that scary to me. My friend was afraid but even while it was happening I was aware that we were in the middle of a shopping mall and if he did want to break his gangsta out we could just run to a store with security guards. 

It's my birthday this month!

In light of how birthday present buying is usually an extremely difficult thing, I have compiled this wish list that I am sure no one will care about, and if anyone does it'll probably be someone who is not currently in the same country as I am and cannot get me anything. But I am doing it anyway because I may look back and a) marvel at how I wanted things I don't want anymore b) marvel at how I later got things I wanted.

Owning any one of these things would make me supremely happy, so it is not ordered in any particular way.

1. The Writer's Block (Amazon, also available in Waterstone's)

2. Wreck This Journal (Amazon, also available in Waterstone's)

3. The Lie: A Novel by Chad Kultgen (Amazon) 

4. Portable speakers (Amazon - on sale too!)

5. Earphones, because mine are starting to break.

6. Water filter. (Argos - I REALLY AM A STARVING WRITER, ALRIGHT? DON'T JUDGE ME!)

7. A medium thickness jacket with a hood - for degrees of approx. 5-10 C



Since I'm already compiling stuff anyway, I may as well throw in a list of things I need to get in order to aid my survival.  6 & 7 from above should be here instead, but I'm mildly wishing someone would put them on my doorstep.

1. Dishwashing sponges.

2. Dinnerware.

3. Phone.

4. Leggings.

5. Food.

6. Shower gel.